I just mean that I’ve taken a close look at my dating history, and I’ve come to the conclusion that men aren’t always very nice. That particular masculine scent or the way they carry themselves? We’ve learned how to build happy, independent lives. And it never hurts to avoid controversial topics on a first date such as politics and religion. There’s not a bigger turnoff on Earth than a man trying to educate us on our own opinion or, heaven forbid, attempt to educate us about our experience of being women, you know from the male-privilege point of view. And I find it a wee bit insulting that we’re skipping getting-to-know-each-other part for the getting-each-other-naked part. Foreplay includes that slow build-up of getting to know one another—taking those smaller steps along the way. Particularly since size doesn’t necessarily equate to knowing how to operate said equipment. And why ask to see us naked before you’ve actually seen us, you know, clothed? We all have our points of insecurity, but we all find confidence to be sexy. Have some consideration for the feelings of others and not just your own feelings of fear and avoidance of conflict. Maybe you’ll be the one to remind us that you have wonderful hearts and souls, and we’ll be happy to spend as much time in your company as we can.
After the date you can spend as much time analyzing it as you would like.
I believe it can be very helpful for those struggling in the world of dating. While “opposites attract,” the authors point out that those “opposites” are often in the “minor” areas of the relationship.
Here are the commandments, with very brief summary notes. Those that don’t risk living the “un-life,” which can be characterized by desperation, dependency, and/or depression. While there’s value in romance, feelings, and emotions, there’s a counter-balance that must be employed, and that’s called “thinking.” They suggest a proper balance between head and heart, avoiding going too fast, involving others in your dating process, and evaluating along the way as helpful steps towards exercising your mind. The areas that can be “compromised,” never in the “major” ones. “Take it slow, to get to know.” COMMANDMENT #5: Thou Shalt Set Clear Boundaries.
Commandment #1: Stay in the Here and Now When dating it is very important to concentrate on the experience of being with the person.
You should not let your mind wander into thinking about past relationships, or future possibilities.